Crash and Burn
by Phantom Lightning
Summary: Scenes that never made it into PBF. WARNING: Extreme randomness and insanity ahead. Proceed with caution... if you think you can handle it.
1. Chapter 1

**Lightning here. I kinda lost my notebook where most of the next chapter of Pitch Black Feathers is written, and I still can't find it. So I decided to write down all the crazy stuff that the voices in my head wanted to write, but didn't. In other words, these are deleted scenes.**

**They were deleted for a good reason, and if you like Danny Phantom, you can see why in Weapon (which is discontinued, by the way) what happens when I let the voices do whatever they want. The first chapter of this is full of deleted scenes from the first chapter, in the second... You get the point now, right?**

**Oh, the title? That's easy. Birds fly. So what happens when they fail, or in other words crash? They burn. (well, I set them on fire.)**

**So enjoy... If you can handle the insanity. By the way, have you seen any men in white coats? I think they're trying to take me away...**

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><p><span>Chocolate<span>

"WHEEEEEEEEE~!"

"I told you not to give him candy, especially not if his cell door is unlocked, you idiot!" A man in a white coat yelled at a similarly dressed man.

"I didn't! He stole the chocolate out of my pocket!"

"And why is that?"

"Because... the cell door was unlocked..."

"Well, how are we going to get him down from that light?"

"A better question is how he holds the light bulb with those claws and doesn't break it."

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><p><span>Steve<span>

Alex was surprised. It was Steve!

"!" He yelled, hugging 'Steve'.

"Who the hell are you?" The man's cigarette dropped out of his mouth when Alex tackled him.

"You... don't remember me?" Alex did his best puppy dog expression, and the man melted.

"Right! You, that guy..."

Then Alex ran away and lived happily ever with Steve, who deeply regretted ever falling for the eyes. And Alex had a lot of candy.

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><p><strong>There wasn't all that much to be deleted in this chapter, sorry about that. But hey, it's something, right? And the first one sort of explains why Alex is being dragged away; they just put the claws on him, and are waiting for him to recover before they give him wings, and he got candy. It reacted badly with... something, and they put the wings on. No, the sugar hasn't really worn off, so he's sort of giggling about it. (well, that's how it went in my twisted mind.) And my Author's Notes are longer than the actual material in here... is that bad?<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Dragon

"Is... is that a snake? Mrs. Jones asked.

"No."

"Then what is it?"

The snake's head whipped to look at her and the red seemed to glow red as a few scales on the back of the snake began to burst. Two lumps formed... then exploded, the thin grey wing membranes see through. The snake had wings. No, not snake... little mini dragon?

"Cute, but could you please put that vile thing away." Mr. Blunt said, his voice as emotionless as always.

Alex suddenly looked very scared. "You shouldn't have done that..."

All Blunt saw was a burst of flames before everything went black.

The doctors at St. Dominics was confused as to how the head of MI6 could seemingly randomly get severe burns on his face while sitting in his office.

Airsick

"WHEE!" Alex was flying around.

While carrying Skoda.

Who for some reason, was airsick.

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

"Ew! This shirt is new!" Alex said, dropping the man, who realized his mistake.

"NO WAIT DON'T- AAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Skoda was then impaled on someone's rooftop, leaving the owner of the house extremely confused and pissed.

WTF.

"What's this?" Alex picked up a huge sword that somehow managed to fit into the box.

"Speak to it." Smithers' voice had a strange echoing quality to it.

_"Hello. I am Shirokuro. You seem to have an extraordinarily large amount of reiatsu... I CHOOSE YOU!"_

Then Alex found himself wearing loose, flowing black robes and a belt with... pokeballs in it?

"Shir! Kuro ku shiro!" a small dragon, with one side black and one side white said.

Smithers cleared his throat. "Alex, I am your father."

A man burst in through the wall and yelled, "IT'S OVER 9000!"

Alex just stared.

What was this, an anime convention?

Then L ran by them laughing like a maniac and flailing around a death note. For some strange reason, Inuyasha characters were floating around and a lion plushy ran after L.

Then the world ended because Lightning had sugar.

Failure

Damn. The target didn't come out.

The Scorpia assassin sighed and vanished into the night.

The boss would not be happy.

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><p><strong>The Shirokuro part means black and white... according to my translator.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Ghost

"Jaaaaaaaack..." A haunting voice moaned.

"What is it Alex?" Jack answered, not looking up.

"JAAAAAAAACK!"

Jack then turned around and screamed.

Alex was pure white, even his wings.

HE WAS A GHOST!

"Jack, can you help wash the flour off me?

Ride

_Flip... Flip... Flip..._

Alex was paging through his book.

Then a giant wolf with wings came crashing down through the ceiling and a bunch of winged kids flew by.

"That was weird." Alex said, then returned to reading his book.

...

"HOLY SHIT!" Alex's mind had finally made the connection.

Revenge

The agent was drunk.

It was stupid, really.

Was kind of good agent gets drunk during one of the most important parts of the mission?

Mr. Blunt then looked back to the papers he was looking at.

Then a Scorpia assassin somehow shot him and he died. The Alex came in, and ran around the building dancing.

Ten minutes later, all the MI6 agents were dancing around a bonfire that was once the Royal and General bank.

Missed

Alex threw the knife, but his aim was slightly off and it hit the agent in the forehead.

"Oops." Alex said, chuckling weakly. "I missed?"

Do Not Touch

Ink woke up.

"Hey, why are these people?" he thought.

One of the men touched him, and he transformed into the small dragon.

The next morning, Alex wondered why there were two small piles of ashes on the floor.

Ink seemed to smile when he asked why.

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><p><strong>I'm having fun with this. And like I stated in the reviews, if you can name all the things I referenced in the last chapter, I'll show you half of what was typed up in the 6th chapter.<strong>

**Remember, list ALL of them in a review or PM.**

**EDIT: Actually, scratch that. I'll post it anyways, and those of you who can list them all will get their names mentioned in the next chapter and the first one will get a fic.**


	4. Chapter 4

Rats

Alex ate a rat.

"Rats!" he said.

"_Yes, they are rats."_

"No, this one's fake!"

Worms

"I'm a mole!"

"Shut up."

Then there was a worm.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Alex screamed.

"What? What is it? What happened?" Ink said, ready to set someone on fire if need be.

"N-no! It's... IT'S A WORM!" Alex said, and then fell to the floor, crying pathetically.

"... Please tell me you're not serious."

Superman

The Scorpia assassin was waiting. Waiting for his target to make one fatal mistake. He didn't know why he had to kill this woman, but it was his first mission, and he was confident that he could do it. She stepped into the room he was watching, and turned away from the direction he was facing.

He fired a shot to the back of her head.

The woman caught it.

She _caught_ a bullet.

"Please," She began, pretending to yawn. "Did you really expect to takes down Superman's sister that easily?"

Then Jack fired laser beams from her eyes and killed the Scorpia assassin.

Pi

"3141592653589793238462643383?"

"No, I'm sorry. There is no agent listed under that number in our database."

"31415926535?"

"No."

"314159265358979?"

"Nope."

"Damn. I shouldn't have made my number that."

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><p><strong>Seriously, anyone reading this should go to my DA account. It has some important stuff on it. If you're interested in Black Phoenix, you should vote on it on my profile. It lists the choices in my Journal entry.<strong>


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